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Happiness – 15 Easy Ways to Feel Happy and Fulfilled Today and Every Day!

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Happiness is a Choice: 7 Ways To Feel Happy Right Now

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How Would You Answer This Simple Happiness Question?

If you think seriously, you would find that it is really no use worrying about anything. It is really foolish to worry about past or future. Nobody can change the past. Whatever has happened has happened. Why worry? How can something that has yet not come to pass affect us? How are we so certain that the future is so bleak? Things may turn out well. Why worry then? Worrying just tires us and diminishes our capacity of clear thinking and planning. It promotes negative thinking. Instead of worrying we should use positive affirmations and resolutions.

If worry could solve the problem, everybody would worry as much as possible. Problem solving requires clear thinking and planning. But worry makes us incapable of clear thinking and planning. Many things, if they are going to happen, will happen regardless of our worry. If it is going to rain, it will.

We worry for small things. The worst-case scenario may not even be bad enough to worry. You have made your boss angry. You worry that he may fire you. What of it? That is not the end of the world. You are still alive. Perhaps you would get a better job. You dread to go to the office next day. You think of sending in your resignation letter. Worrying you reach office. The boss calls you. He apologizes. It was his mistake!

Not only we should not worry about little things, but we should also not worry about seemingly big things. The things that seem today very big and important will seem trifle tomorrow. In your student life you must have worried for days about the wrong answer you gave, even though you knew the right answer, to an objective type of question carrying just half mark. How much you worried about a dress on a special occasion, meeting a boy or girl whom you fancied, or the change of residence of a friend’s family? Do these matter a bit today? Why worry about spilled milk, or a broken glass, or a missed bus?

Of course, no body worries for the sake of worrying. Worry just comes into mind and then never leaves. But many people never worry. It seems that worrying is a sort of bad habit. As all bad habits the habit of worrying is also difficult to get rid of. So, in the first instance, never make worrying a habit. Secondly, try to divert your mind. Think of positive things. Get busy with some physical activity. Keep yourself away from people who are habitually worrying type and who always see the negative side of a thing.

Instead of useless worrying, one should take positive action-

BE HAPPY!

If you buy your lover flowers, and they come home to tell you they just received a raise at work ? the flowers you give them are just going to add to their joy, and you are going to have a wonderful evening.

However, if you buy your lover flowers, and they come home to tell you they just got fired from work ? they may look at the flowers and give a quick smile just to acknowledge you and quickly go back to sulking ? or worse, they may be hateful and yell, “WHAT GOOD ARE FLOWERS GOING TO DO ME NOW?!?!? ARE THEY HIRING FLORISTS?!?!”

Of course, this is common sense ? but it is a perfect example of why people pleasing doesn’t work 100% of the time. You will never be able to predict what kind of mood anyone is going to be in all the time, simply because things will always happen outside of our control. Consequently, your happiness or misery is in the other person’s hands, which puts you into a very vulnerable position.

I have developed what I call, “The People Pleasing Quadrant” to broaden readers awareness of what people-pleasing is, and what to do once those people-pleasing tendencies rear their ugly heads. Quadrant means “four” which means there are four different situations you will find yourself in that you will need to develop strategies to combat your people-pleasing tendencies. The four situations are as follows:

Quadrant # 1: Dealing with the people you like or love when those people ALSO like or love you in return:

This first quadrant is the easiest to manage, because at least you genuinely like or love the person you are dealing with, and they like or love you as well. However, remember the example we used above about the lover losing their job and the flowers? No matter how much you like or love someone, or how much they like or love you, bad things happen sometimes. We all say things we don’t mean. The trick is to not take the people you care about personally, and feel responsible for “fixing” them. Let the person you like and love be hurt, angry, mad, and upset. It doesn’t have to affect your core happiness, although you can sympathize with the person and let them know you will be there for them, if they want to talk. Besides, this person cares about you ? and they don’t want to drag you down, just because they are having a bad day. Give them a little space, and let things sort themselves out. Spend your energy focusing on more productive ventures, such as going for a jog to get in shape, studying for an important test, or reading a book that is of interest to you. People-pleasing is really annoying to people who like or love you already. They don’t expect you to make everything better, they just need some time to get over it.

Quadrant # 2: Dealing with the people you like or love when those people DON’T like or love you in return:

The second quadrant is oftentimes the most painful quadrant to come to terms with, regardless if it is about a “friend,” family member, or lover. Once in a great while, we can like or even love someone who doesn’t like or love us in return. We do everything in our power to be “good” enough, “supportive” enough, “encouraging” enough, “kind” enough, whatever enough! But somehow, it is never enough, and it never will be.

Once in awhile, these people we like or love are nice to us out of pity, guilt, regret or remorse ? or because we are fulfilling some kind of need for them that they don’t want to give up. Don’t mistake their temporary kindness as genuine concern! Because honestly, these people don’t like or love us at all. It could be for a variety of reasons, but those reasons don’t have anything to do with you. The trick for getting over people-pleasing in this quadrant is to realize what quadrant these people belong in, and come to terms with the fact that they don’t like or love you. On the other hand, realize that there are millions of other people out here who would absolutely adore you. Realize that you are wasting your valuable and precious time with people pleasing, especially in this quadrant, because no matter what you do, it won’t matter. Just move on to someone who will like, love and appreciate the beautiful person you are.

Quadrant # 3: Dealing with the people you DON’T like or love when those people DO like or love you.

Most of the people-pleasing in this quadrant comes out of guilt, pity or personal gain. Although I must admit, it is really hard not to like someone who likes you, but you may be able to definitely see that the other person likes or loves you WAY more than you like
or love them.

I believe my grandmother taught me a very gracious lesson about how to handle situations in quadrant three. One day, a boy who just moved into my neighborhood decided to ask me out on a date. He really had a crush on me, and I could tell. However, I didn’t feel the same way about him. But I did enjoy all of the flowers, candy and attention he gave me.

At the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with taking whatever he was willing to give. But my grandmother pulled me aside and told me why it wasn’t nice to encourage gestures and lead a person on, especially when I knew his intentions. Of course, I liked him as a person because he was so sweet. But the truth of the matter is, he was wasting his time courting me when I wasn’t interested. Although I could have continued to use him, I went with granny’s advice and politely told him that I could no longer accept gifts because I was not interested in dating anyone at that time. However, we decided to be friends and did fun things together on occasion. He found a new girlfriend who truly adored him to pieces, and fell in love with her. The last I heard, they were planning to get married. The moral of the story is, he was a sweetheart, and deserved to find someone who liked and loved him. It would be selfish of me to stand in the way of that.

Quadrant # 4: Dealing with the people you DON’T like when they DON’T like you either!

A person will rarely find themselves in this quadrant when it comes to their personal life, unless it has to do with Ex-Lovers
or step families. Otherwise, you can just get up and walk away, which is why quadrant four is reserved mostly for the work place and figures of authority!

People-pleasing in this quadrant reflects suppressed feelings, and putting up with a lot of emotional, mental and verbal abuse. It can be because you are afraid of losing your job or
because you are afraid of the person themselves. In situations like this, it is always best to get a third party involved, because for one reason or another ? you are forced to deal with this person, and they are forced to deal with you. Neither one of you are going to be able to compromise about a reasonable solution on your own, because both of you don’t care what is in the other’s best interest! There needs to be a mediator who can look at the situation objectively on neutral ground, and come up with a reasonable solution. Don’t be afraid to be the bigger person and ask for outside help. It is the only way the conflict will be resolved. In matters dealing with the family, it may be best to go to counseling, join a support group, or bring a person from the outside into the situation. Remember, your goal is to conserve energy, and focus on how you can change things, and make them head in a positive direction. Be a part of the solution, not the problem. If everyone else wants to wallow in their misery and problems, you can let them do just that. But you can choose something different.

In closing, when you eliminate people pleasing in your life for good ? it is always great to have the awareness that you only have a one in four shot of really hitting it off with somebody special! (In case you were wondering, that one shot lies within people who are in Quadrant number one!) If you go into each situation expecting the best, but prepared for the worse ? you will always come out on top. But most importantly, be yourself! There is no point going through life pretending to think and feel a certain way just to please other people. Besides that, you won’t have the opportunity to attract the people in your life who would really like or love the person you truly are!

Another tidbit I’d like to share out of granny’s little treasure chest of knowledge, wisdom and experience. She always use to say, “Rhiannon, there are three types of people in this world. There are givers and there are takers. But once in a great while, you will be fortunate enough to find a person who is capable of doing both.”

I hope this article will encourage you to be a person who can do both.

But I’d like to share a little secret with you — happiness is not just for a lucky few who were born with it.

You see, happiness is not something you can reach out and touch or put in the refrigerator and take a sip when you need it. Happiness is not found on a beach in Hawaii (really!) or in a perfect body. It’s not even in that perfect relationship that Tom Cruise tries to sell us in the movies.

Yet from the images bombarding you every day, it’s easy to make the mistake that happiness will arrive on your doorstep when you have the latest car, the best clothes, a fancy home, isn’t it? It’s easy to get caught in the trap of thinking that if you could just find the right person, they’d arrive with a box of happiness attached to his/her hip. But all this does is convince you that happiness is something to be found outside of yourself.

And that’s where you get off track. Because the secret is that happiness is simply a by-product of creating and living a life that works, a life that you enjoy — whatever that is. Happiness comes from doing what you what, where you want to do it, who whom you want to do it with.

And yes, I can hear all of you — “But I can’t get the job I want because I’d have to go to school for 8 years, and I have to live here because I can’t afford to move, and what do you mean “who I want to do it with” because I want to hang out with Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey or Bill and Hillary Clinton”.

And thank you all for making my point for me.

You see, happiness starts by believing you have control over your life; and grows by making choices that will give you a sense of well being, satisfaction. Happiness comes from deciding that you *will* go to school for 8 years if that’s what it takes. That you *will* organize your life until you can afford to move. And that YOU decide who to hug, how much to smile, what music you listen to, and who you hang out with, even if it’s not Bill and Hillary.

Happiness is about making the best choices you can about who you spend your time with, how you making your living, how much you learn, what you put into your body. Because when you feel good about the space you’re in, when you’re with people you admire and respect and they admire and respect you, when you’re working on a project that’s meaningful to you — happiness will shine right through.

And that’s no secret.

Decide today to stop chasing happiness, and instead choose three things that you love to do, that contribute to your feeling of well-being and satisfaction. Schedule time for them, every day if possible, every week at least. It doesn’t have to be for a long time, just 10 minutes a day will help you create the happiness that you’re looking for. Guaranteed.

And that’s no secret either.

The world may be a dreary, dreadful, and dangerous place to venture into. There may be cut-throat competition in which survival of the mean, cunning, and bully only is possible. It may not be a place for gentle, honest, and kind person like you. It is full of murderers, criminals, rapists, and swindlers. They are ready to snatch away the loaf of bread from your hand. You need a sanctuary from them. You need a place where there is love and care, understanding and compassion, give and take. You need somebody who could guide and protect you. You need somebody who could be equal partner in your joys and sorrows. You need somebody upon whom you could shower your love and care. You need a home and a family.

Parents sacrifice a lot and endure great hardships in up-bringing their children. They are selfless in their love and can even lay their lives for the protection of their children. A spouse is a life time partner in your days of sunshine and rain. Brothers and sisters are your friends and supporters. Your children are your life time fans who love you unconditionally. The love, care, and support of family is a great happiness. Blessed is the person who has got a family. And who amongst us has not got one? But we take family for granted. We don’t recognize it as a great source of happiness. The more happiness you give to your family the more you extract out of it.

You are born into a family and grow up within a family. A family not only provides comfort, enjoyment, and security, but it also gives emotional and spiritual bliss. In fact, one may find so much happiness within family that he or she may not need to search it outside it. The love and care of mother and father, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters, wife or husband sustain us. Though love is one and the same yet the love of each is so different too. A family may extend beyond these immediate relations and may include grand parents, grand children, in-laws, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, and other relatives.

Can all the money of the world buy the love and affection of one’s parents? Can one be happy without them? How much enjoyment and happiness they add to our life? Similar is the case with brothers and sisters. At a later stage of life husband or wife becomes practically the sole arbiter of our happiness. Man or woman’s happiness nearly entirely depends on his or her spouse. At a still later stage sons and daughters become a great source of happiness. Bertrand Russell said, ‘I have found the happiness of parenthood greater than any other that I have experienced.’ Family relations give happiness, but at the same time to be a relation also gives happiness. It is happiness unlimited to be a son, a brother, a sister, a father, a mother, a husband, and a wife.

When you kiss your child, don’t you get a kiss in return?

When you hug your sister, don’t you get a hug in return?

When you love your spouse, don’t you get love in return?

Be Happy! You have your family which loves you!

BE HAPPY!

“If I can’t trust my spouse to keep their sexual promise to me why am I in this relationship? I don’t ever want to “control” another person’s life. I choose to believe in the promise until prove otherwise. Positive attracts positive.”

My first thought was,”WOW”! Does one really feel that they are controlling their mate?

How does wanting them to just be with you, become a control factor?

How does your wanting to be just the one, become a control factor?

How does not wanting them to look, or talk personally to another person, become a control factor?

How does making them feel like you are suppose to be the only thing on their minds, become a control factor?

How does checking their phone logs, or their computer logs, become a control factor?

Is wondering what they are doing at every minute, a control factor?

Is questioning them on their every move, a control factor?

Is going through their pockets, looking for anything that might lead you to believe they are breaching their commitment to you, a control factor?

Is deleting messages, they may receive on their computer, a control factor?

Is asking their friends about a certain night out, a control factor?

Is tasting them with a kiss when they have been out, a control factor?

Hmmmm, how many of these questions, or worries, have you been guilty of?

I really have to wonder who it is, that is being controlled with these jealous worries? You or them?

I totally feel that jealousy is controlling you; if you can say yes to half of these questions, it is controlling you in a very, very destructive way. You are becoming caught in a vicious circle. You will search, and through that search you are allowing yourself to be controlled each time you apply any of the above thoughts or actions.

It’s one of those “you are damned if you do, and you are damned if you don`t” situations. To not question and search, you are left to trust and have faith and believe in your relationship. Trust is a hard thing to do when you allow weakness to control your thoughts. To become skeptical with your heart is a very long, lonely journey to nowhere. You have to allow your mind to rest and trust the one you have chosen to give your heart to. Yes it is risky, but that’s what love is. Trust, believe, do not control, and most of all feel like you are that special person they chose as a life partner.

There are going to be times when your partner will be involved with someone that may feel threatening to you. This is when your partner will know the line. They will know to keep their personals in tact. They will know that to cross that line will only set your relationship up for complication. Another good point that was made by a member of my website was this:

“Most of us at some point are sexually attracted to someone other than our spouse but, it’s whether or not we act on that attraction that defines our relationship.”

AND

“I have to ask myself though…is it reasonable to control my significant others’ friendships, “just in case” they develop a sexual attraction?”

This is when the line has to be drawn by both parties. “To be human is to error”. I know that sounds like an excuse to fail another. It may be in some instances and it may not be in others. There are so many situations in life, that I can only generalize.

Again, “CONTROL” is the word that comes to mind here. The control mentioned above, is of oneself again, but in a positive way. We choose to control that moment of lust or interest; there are many words for it. The choice of control is really what matters in a relationship.

The worry of “What if”, will always be hovering. This is where our true commitment lies. It is through belief and trust. Is it not sweeter to feel good about the,”US” in our lives? Is it not finer to feel that we can control the negative thoughts and only allow positive thoughts rule our actions? Well then take a positive, “CONTROL” on your thoughts.

Let your love guide you. Let your love show you the way to a life of smiles and happiness. Oh and HUGGZ. You all know I am big on those. Huggz are a very nice way to control ones body. It can send messages from one to another in the most pleasant way. So, why I ask, is that not something you would do every second you can? It’s like someone saying, “OK, you can eat as much of your favorite food as you want and never gain a single pound”. HA, like as if we would not all take advantage of that in this world of restaurants at every foot of the road, that are full every day . Think about that people.

So, my question for you to think on tonight is,” Do you want to be controlled by you, or do you want to control, you? I will leave you with that thought to ponder and a couple more… HUGGZZZZZZZ plz!!

If you CONTROL your thoughts,

(your feelings come from your

thoughts) then you control your feelings!

********************

You can`t control

what goes on outside,

but you can always control

what goes on inside!

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

You must understand that; be careful, the universe can’ t be redirected, rather you should follow the same direction, and profit from the tremendous flow of vital energy coming from the six directions.
Good force are there, but you must know how to avoid the bad forces. Although the positive forces are stronger, it is easy to fall in the wrong wave, and quite difficult to focus and stay on the right way.
So how can you be positive all the time, you think: nobody can do that.
No, a lot of people do it, what is the difference between them?
Two kind of people: The sleeping, and the awake.
It is not the real sleep here, you should understand what the sleeper is: in fact, he is awake like everybody, so why is he a sleeper?

Just look around you, and try to find out: is that man awake or he is a sleeper? Do that exercise, and you will be astonished with the results, you will be able to feel people, to feel the energy, like you feel the wind touch on your skin…
He is a sleeper because he can’ t control, he doesn’ t see… Everyday, he wakes up like every people in this world(law of the universe, nobody can change it), however, he is not satisfied with his life, it is just a matter of doing things because they got to be done, because everybody is doing that…
The sleeper act, eat, do everything without vitality, without energy, without love, without passion, he is a sleeper, his life is empty.
Worst he doesn ‘t know what is life…
We will complete the sleeping case, and start with the awake, the enlighten case…

None of them were runners before this show and they are being trained by UK Olympic gold medallists Steve Cram and Sally Gunnell. I have been filming for one of the Run For Glory shows to help the participants overcome psychological barriers and get in control of their minds with regards to running the marathon and their preparation.

I have found it very interesting to observe the relations between the crew, the producers and the interactions with and in between the participants of the Run for Glory show and how other people really do affect each other and have an impact on each other.

Recently, I wrote about developing rapport without even speaking. Lots of people do this without even being instructed on how to do it. One of the things that I have noticed since I started working within the various fields of personal development is that I am much more aware of other people and how I interact with them.

I have practiced and practiced achieving a really enjoyable sense of rapport with people when I meet them and develop relationships with them. It has been great to observe my own improvements in how I do this and the kind of intuitive and instinctive way that I do this.

When working on the set of this TV show “Run for Glory”, I was chatting to one of the participants who is about to become very famous here in the UK thanks to this show, and they were telling me that at the end of filming each episode of Run for Glory, with everything going really well, they would finish the day feeling drained and verging on being depressed.

I spoke to them for a while and I was not sure about this until I observed all the kinds of interaction that was there in this unusual TV environment filming for Run for Glory ? the participant was getting excellent results, I mean they are doing so amazingly well, so why were they feeling so low?

I suggested that this person might be picking up other people’s issues, thoughts and feelings. I suggested that maybe they needed to protect themselves from the other Run for Glory participants. She used the technique that I then demonstrated to her and subsequently reported back that she felt amazing, so much better than she was before when she was around these people that were stressed, having great demands placed upon them and facing some very challenging situations in their lives.

When you develop rapport with people and get close to them, you can and often do access some of what they are thinking and feeling. This is not the best when the person you are in rapport with is not in a great or a productive state.

It is like a friend of mine who I joke is a “fun vampire.” Sometimes he is so morose and seemingly depressed when we are out socially that he seems to “suck the life and the fun” out of all the people that he encounters! I know you all know someone like that too.

I tend to find this is particularly important when I am running seminars with people that are making a lot of changes in their lives or if I am working therapeutically with individuals; I want to be sure not to take on board too much of their feelings and way of thinking. So I want to show you some ways of protecting yourself too.

The way I suggest of doing this requires your natural ability to use your imagination and visualise. Now, if you believe you have difficulty visualising or using your imagination, trust me when I tell you that you use your imagination every day. Your imagination is what reminds you what your partner or spouse looks like, what colour your front door is and how your childhood bedroom looked. You do not have to visualising in perfect cinema screen pictures in your mind, just do it in a way that is right for you. This method is just as effective if you visualise the things I ask or if you just pretend to visualise them in your mind.

Firstly, get yourself nice and relaxed. Sit still and take some longer, deeper breaths and then allow your breathing to be natural and become rhythmic and easy. Focus on the moment; be aware of how your body feels in that moment.

Secondly, as you get more relaxed, imagine the relaxation spreading through your body. If you want to, give it a colour or a texture or imagine it as a sensation.

Thirdly, imagine the relaxation, or the sensation of stillness moving out of your body, just a few centimetres. Imagine that you are extending it to become a protective shield that is all around you.

Imagine that it acts as a filter, so only you to take on things that are for your better good and understanding and does not allow you to take on anything that is going to affect you detrimentally.

I don’t know if any of you remember adverts for the oat cereal “Ready Brek”? The people used to have a glow about them when they were going to work if they had eaten their Ready Brek. When I first started protecting myself in this wonderful way, I used to imagine that I had a glow around me that acted like emotional armour and any unwanted thoughts or feelings or even comments of others that I did not want to carry around with me, just bounced off my armour.

Finally, when relaxing tell yourself that this protective shield is there working for you even if you are not consciously aware of it. That way you can be sure that you are not carrying anyone else’s vibes around with you and leaves you free to enjoy your experiences for what they really are. Then go ahead and practice this a few times, putting conscious effort into it, imagine making it more powerful with your attention and really getting it strong.

These ideas are just metaphors for protecting yourself, but because your mind and body are one system, they can be extremely effective ways of letting your unconscious know what you want. One of the things that you may begin to notice after you have used this approach a few times and over a prolonged period of time is that you just need to remind yourself of it every now and then, and then it works even better and better. The long term effects of establishing some protection are so very good for you; just as good as finding a good sun screen, that’s for sure. It was so successful with that participant for Run for Glory too.

One of the first things I disocvered when I really looked at the people on the set for Run for Glory was how many people out there make negative or bad suggestions (ie. people who say things which guide attention in less than helpful directions). It is the same in life as on the Run For Glory Set! The number of well-meaning doctors, family members, colleagues and friends that I have heard giving people suggestions for ill health, stress and negativity is truly amazing! If you maintain some good protection for yourself, you can be sure not to allow other peoples negative language, thoughts and feelings to affect you in a way that is not for your better good.

The ability to protect myself from the things going on around me has been instrumental in my latter life, being able to block out most unhelpful messages that come my way leaves a very nice state of well-being and it did so too for the participant in Run for Glory.